Sleep After 40: How I’m Fixing My Trash Sleep So You Can Fix Yours Too
If your sleep has been absolute garbage lately… welcome to the no fun club.
I’m right there with you.
I host early morning training sessions. I’m running a business. I want time with my fiancée at night. And like many of you, I’ve been pushing bedtime later while still getting up before sunrise.
Result… I wake up foggy. I’m not showing up like I want to. And it bleeds into everything.
So today I’m sharing exactly what I’m doing to get back on track, plus the tools I give clients when they hit busy seasons and sleep falls apart.
This isn’t a perfect system. It’s a real one. Built for parents over 40 with schedules that change and people who need you.
Let’s get into it.
Why Sleep Matters More Than You Think
You already know sleep is important. But here’s the real reason it shows up as a superpower when life is hectic.
Good sleep makes everything else easier.
You recover from workouts.
You handle cravings without white-knuckling.
You regulate mood so you can be present for your family and not feel like a zombie.
You reduce injury risk so training feels good instead of like a grind.
Poor sleep does the opposite.
It makes every decision harder. It spikes hunger, especially the comfort food kind. It slows recovery so soreness lingers. It raises injury risk because your body can’t repair and your reaction time drops. And for many of us over 40, it also shows up in the midsection thanks to hormonal shifts that nudge fat storage to your belly.
So if you’ve been trying to diet, train, and “push through” while sleeping five hours… you’re fighting uphill.
The fastest way to feel better is to fix sleep first.
What’s Messing With Your Sleep Right Now
Let’s call out the usual suspects I see with clients. And yes… I’m guilty of a few.
Irregular schedules
Shift work or rotating rotations
Sedentary days with little sunlight
Late night screen time
Chasing energy with caffeine all afternoon
Kids waking you up
Bedroom that’s too warm or too bright
Season changes throwing off your rhythm
Stress and racing thoughts
Menopause symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats
One or two of these is manageable. Stack several… and sleep falls apart.
That’s when we start saying things like, "I guess I’m just a bad sleeper."
You’re not. You’re a human in a tough season. And there’s a path out.
The Consequences We Feel The Next Day
When sleep drops, your body pays a tax.
Recovery slows down. That awesome lower body workout now makes you sore for three days instead of one. You’re more likely to tweak something because tissues aren’t repairing overnight.
Hunger climbs even at the same calories. You eat lunch and still feel snacky. The cravings get louder. The quick and comfy options win.
Mood gets choppy. Patience runs thin. You want to be present… but your brain feels like it’s running through mud. The people who matter most get the leftovers.
Keep running this play long enough and it compounds. Blood pressure can creep up. Insulin sensitivity can dip. Your training quality drops so results stall. And mentally… you start to feel out of control.
We’re not doing that anymore.
The Fix: A Real-Life Sleep Plan For Busy Parents 40 Plus
I want you to think of sleep as a skill. We build it like we build strength. One small, repeatable part at a time.
1. Create a Flexible Bedtime Routine
Keep it simple and travel friendly. Repeatable beats perfect.
Ideas to mix and match
Light stretching for five minutes
Hot shower or bath then straight into bed
Journaling or gratitude
Five to ten minutes of reading
Blue blockers if you must be on screens
Set the phone to Do Not Disturb and charge it across the room
Aim for a wind-down window you can actually repeat. Fifteen to thirty minutes. That’s it.
If nights are your only chance to connect with your partner, consider my compromise. We moved the show from couch to bed. We’re upstairs around 9. Timer on the TV so it turns off on its own. I can knock out early. We still hang.
Small change. Big difference.
2. Fix The Environment
Cool. Dark. Quiet.
Turn your bedroom into a cave.
A few quick wins
Set the room cool and use covers for warmth
Blackout curtains to stop outside light
Cover or remove small light sources like chargers or power strips
White noise or a fan to drown out bumps and buzzes
If you fall asleep to TV, use a sleep timer so it shuts off
That tiny light you never noticed before becomes the lighthouse at 2 a.m.
Make darkness your friend.
3. Adjust Nutrition To Support Sleep
No afternoon caffeine. Noon is your hard stop.
If you’re low in magnesium and your doctor recommends it, supplementation can help. Get the bloodwork. Don’t guess.
Alcohol is the tricky one. Yes… it knocks you out. But it crushes sleep quality. You might sleep longer but wake up feeling worse. If you want better energy, cut it back for a few weeks and watch what happens.
Evening meals matter too. Huge heavy dinners late at night can push your body to keep digesting when you want it to power down. Think balanced PFC style plates at night. Protein. Fiber. Color. Satisfying but not a food coma.
4. Manage Stress So Your Brain Lets You Sleep
A lot of people drink to turn the volume down. Instead… breathe.
Try box breathing. Four seconds in. Four hold. Four out. Four hold. Repeat until your body softens. If four is tough, start with two or three. You’ll build capacity.
Guided meditation works. So does simple calm music and sitting with your thoughts. I sometimes build a little movie in my head. Details of a place or story. It nudges your brain toward that dreamlike state and the next thing you know… you’re waking up.
Journal if your brain won’t stop. Get the thoughts out. Write what you can control. Cross out what you can’t. Give your nervous system permission to let it go for the night.
And if a stressful topic is stealing your sleep, zoom out. Ask, where do I actually have power. For me… it’s my home, my clients, my community, my vote. The rest… I release.
5. Move Your Body During The Day
If you’re not tired at night, it might be because your body didn’t get a nudge to be tired.
You don’t need perfect workouts. You need consistent movement. Walks. Short lifts. Errands on foot. A quick Toned In 20 session after work. Sunlight in your eyes in the morning and early afternoon. It anchors your circadian rhythm and helps melatonin show up when you want it to.
6. Special Support During Menopause
Hot flashes and night sweats are real… and they’re sleep wreckers.
What helps:
Keep a small fan on your nightstand pointed at you
Layer blankets so you can add or remove quickly
Have a dry set of pajamas next to the bed for fast changes without leaving the covers
Consider a cooling mattress pad or topper if it fits the budget
Keep water at the bedside and lights dim so you can go right back down
Your physiology is shifting. Prepare your space to ride the waves.
7. Acceptance And Boundaries When Life Is What It Is
Sometimes the fix isn’t perfect sleep. It’s acceptance.
If your job is brutal right now or your kid is teething or you’re caring for a parent… your sleep will be impacted. That doesn’t make you a failure.
You simply adjust the plan.
You may need firmer nutrition boundaries because cravings will be louder. Things like a calorie budget or default PFC meals that remove decision fatigue.
You may need to dial back training volume so you can actually recover. Two full body lifts a week with conservative loads and slow tempos might be better than trying to live in the gym.
And you may need some hard conversations. With a partner. With your boss. With yourself. What tradeoffs are worth it. Which ones aren’t. Are you okay being a bit sluggish tomorrow so you can sit on the couch together tonight. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Decide on purpose so you don’t live in resentment.
Finally… zoom way out. If a job or routine is stealing years from your health, look at the long term. It’s okay to seek a different path. It’s also okay to stay and set boundaries while you search. You’re in the driver’s seat.
How To Put This Into Practice Tonight
Start small.
Pick one action. Just one.
Ideas to choose from:
Set a TV sleep timer and move your show to the bedroom
Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and leave it charging across the room
Close the kitchen after dinner and prep a PFC-friendly snack for tomorrow
Cut caffeine at noon today
Put blackout tape on little light sources
Journal for five minutes and write one thing you’re letting go of
Do a six minute box-breathing session before lights out
Lay out a dry set of pajamas and a light blanket on the bed if you get night sweats
Schedule a ten minute walk outside during lunch to see sunlight
Do that for a week. Then stack the next one.
Small wins, repeated, change everything.
If You Love Data
A quick note for my metric lovers.
When sleep improves, don’t be surprised if the scale jumps a pound or two at first. Better sleep can reduce stress hormones, you retain more glycogen, and you may eat a little more at maintenance rather than low appetite from exhaustion. This is not fat. It’s your body rebalancing.
Judge progress by energy, cravings, mood, and workout quality. When those rise… fat loss becomes easier again.
The Payoff You’ll Feel
When you dial this in you fall asleep faster. You wake up less. You feel calm in your body. Hunger is quieter. Workouts feel strong again. You’re more patient with your kids and kinder to your partner. You feel in control of your health instead of being yanked around by your schedule and hormones.
That’s the point.
Not perfect sleep. Better sleep that supports a life you actually want to live.
Ready For Help
If you’ve been consuming every tip and still struggle to execute… that’s normal. Information is not the same as implementation.
Two simple ways I can help.
Toned In 20 Workouts - Quick at-home workouts to build momentum and nudge your sleep and energy up. Perfect if you need movement that fits a busy life.
Want accountability and a plan that flexes with your real world? Book a free coaching consultation with me. Fifteen to thirty minutes. No pressure. We find out what’s right for you. Even if that’s just clarity and a few next steps… you deserve that.
Until then… pick one thing tonight. Do it. Then do it again tomorrow.
You’ve got this.
Go kick some ass.
— Bryan
